disconnect me

♣ THE BITCH IT BACKKK

Thursday, 2 June 2011 || 22:58

TERRIBLY SORRY .

Been nerding for exams and what not so I haven’t gone on my comp .

Seen been typing up stuff though :)

So here it is . .

And before I start . . anyone know a 0431993669 ?

I hate unknown numbers in my phone .

I know .

I’m weird .

And WORD OF WARNING i haven't proof read this shizz so if there's rants then i'm terribly sorry :)

Okayy. Now I’ll start . .

24/5/11

Wow I’m such a bitch .

NTS: stop bitching . its stupid and mean and hypocritical and I don’t want it to happen to me so I should just shut my trap (Y)

It’s the people closest to you that hurt you the most .

Maybe its intentional , maybe its not , you’ll never be sure , but it hurts . a lot . even when you don’t show it .

It’s the tiny little things that hurt you most on the inside .

Ignorance is your new best friend .

And before I forget –

Day 1 : Ten secrets

Day 2 : Nine loves

Day 3 : Eight fears

Day 4 : Seven wants

Day 5 : Six places

Day 6 : Five foods

Day 7 : Four books

Day 8 : Three films

Day 9 : Two songs

Day 10 : One picture of yourself

Two songs

1. Don’t You Want To Stay – Kelly Clarkson

2. The Last Fight – Bullet For My Valentine

Spaz exam study hair .

Stress busters .

Fingerpainting .

Meditating , which turned into sleeping .

Tea .

Jam and scones and cream <3

I just wish they’d all just understand .

This is who I am .

And I’m SORRY hunny , but I’m not going to change myself to make you happy .

You’re not a judge but if you’re gonna judge me .

Sentence me to another life .

I’m ME . that’s why I’m ME and you’re YOU .

live with it .

suck it up . :)

Be the change that you want to see in the world .

Congratulating when someone achieves something , not glaring and condescending .

Treating EVERYONE with respect whether we like them or not .

Loving everyone , no matter how different they are to ourselves .

Not avoiding people we don’t like and getting mad at the ones we love .

Not ignoring people . including EVERYONE in everything . from even small things like conversations .

Stopping the ones closest around us when they say bad things about the other people we love , even if it comes at a personal cost .

Starting to love . one person at a time .

Changing attitudes .

Changing from the inside out .

Loving . Not hating .

Be different .

Cos baby you’re a firework , come and let your colours shine

And WHYY does academic have to be the main focus in life ??

STRESS.STUDY.EXAMS.STUDY.STUDY.EXAMS.STUDY.EXAMS.STRESS.STUDY.STRESS.HSC.. – talk about a recipe for suicide . what a pointless depressing life ?!

Where’s FUN in that equation ?

I mean can’t we do sports and stuff as well ?

Maybe it’s an Asian parent thing ; if it’s not academic , it’s not worth your time .

I’m not going to stop .

I hate being told what to do .

How to live .

Being restricted and held down because I’m a GIRL and I’m ‘young’

The more you tell me I can’t , the harder I’m going to try to prove you wrong .

I’ve done it before .

You know I will again .

Stop arguing .

My music can’t be any louder and drown you guys out .

Oh and because some people asked (ignore this if you’re not interested) , i did some research , so here it goes :) :

How to get a flat stomach –

· Sit ups – works your upper abs . Doing them for just one a day doesn’t help , do a set of them . hands behind your head and straight , DON’T try squeezing your elbows together to make them easier , it’ll damage your back

· Plank – works your lower abs . butt DOWN – do it in front of a mirror , your body is meant to be straight. hold for 30 seconds-ish or longer if you can

· Push ups – works your lower abs . yes , it burns off the arm fat as well DW , you won’t get those scary body builder arms – well unless you do a millionbilliontrillionn

· Pumping – yeah I know it sounds stupid but it really works :) , back straight , tense your tummy and just go crazy

Songs for jogging/running –

So I was doing some research on this (yeah , I’m awesome like that ^^ , but just because it’s for you hunny <3 )

Elite athletes tend to run at around 180bpm (beats per minute) – so for us I guess that’s us running not jogging . Depending on the speed you jog the bpm will be different but they should be around 140 – 170 bpm . Depending on how tall you are and how long your strides are affects your bpm so just TRY these out.

So my song list for youu :

· Written In The Stars – Tinie Tempah feat. Eric Turner (180bpm)

· Lazy song – Bruno Mars

· Stuttering – Fefe Dobson

· Untouched – The Veronica

· Top 25 Pop 2009 Remix – DJ Earworm

· I Got A Feeling – Black Eyed Peas

· I Write Sins Not Tragedies – Panic! At The Disco

· My Humps – Fergie

· Girlfriend - Chris brown

· Forever – Chris Brown

· Church - T-pain

· Pump It - Black Eyed Peas

· My Life Would Suck Without You – Kelly Clarkson

· Not Afraid - Eminem

· Down - Jay Sean

· Whine Up - Kat Deluna

· Everything back but you – Avril Lavigne

· Give Me Everything Tonight – Pitbull

· If I Was You (OMG) – Far East Movement (feat. Snoop Dogg)

· Champion – Chipmunks feat. Chris Brown

These are just from the ones I’ve tried out or someone’s shoved in the internet saying its really good . I’ve tried to give a bit of variety but try them out for yourself . Generally something with a good bass beat or drums and that’s too fast for you to dance to is good xD especially with good lyrics that inspire your . . There are tonnes out there , Google it :)

And Anorah , my darling , remember how we were talking about running :

· The feeling of the cold wind blowing against your face and cooling you down afterwards .

· The feeling of your hot blood pumping through your fingertips , making them tingle

· The feeling of completion

· The rush of happiness

· The throbbing of your legs

· When you run for so long you can’t feel the pain anymore . You’re just floating

Pain is what keeps you alive .

You know what I mean :)

Trailing thoughts .

Terribly sorry for the rambling >.<

NOTE: these aren’t directed to anyone in particular , apart from the second half .

just me and my thoughts.

Don’t ASSUME

That’s making an ASS out of U and ME [I know , it actually makes sense o.o]

25/5/11

Your grace has found me just as I am

Forever I am changed by your love

Got six blocks of chocolate in food tech 8) yes . I represent the WEALTHY nations EHEHEHE

JELLLY ?? ;]

AIYAH . I’m turning into you Lawrence >.<

History – POWER TO THE PEOPLE . POWER TO THE PEOPLE . POWER TO THE PEOPLE . 8)

The ugly men comp . shame we didn’t get to vote . but I still think that hair guy with the girl hair wins

Lawrence and jono . you guys made my day xDD .

or should I say you GIRLS ?? :)

HAHA love you peeps .

I swear you two are girly-er than half the girls I know . good impersonations ;] (Y)

Sorry Jono , did NOT recognise you when L started yelling out your name ^^” you look SOO different in your sports uniform .

I love your chicken wing ! 8)

And the lovely friends we met on the way .

What were their names ??? Line , Perpendicular and I forget the other one . . ^^”” . HAHAHA aren’t we so awesome ?!

Chit chat . running . epping to ewood and back

L – I THINK we broke your uberly awesome speakers . TERRIBLY SORRY ! but the bass on them were AMAZING .

be prepared for me to raid your house just to steal your speakers 8)

And Brendon’s such a rich butt o.o – still think he’s kinda cute HAHA

shush don’t tell him I said that ;D

I want to see your shirt jono 8)))

Wait is it like raj’s one ??? o.O

And next time I’ll remember to bring my cash and shout you guys one buck ice creams xP *ahemhem* jono

park – PLANK

yes . I agree with you johnjohn . love don’t exist ! :) –

nononono don’t kill me if you’re in a relo . this is just me I’m talking about ^^

HAHAHA we can just be awesome sexyyily independant people ;DD

Lawrence if you don’t get bashed up tomorrow by John I’ll be surprised :P

And you are SUCH a horny butt . I never realised xP

Hope you can still have children after the plank AHAHAHAHAHA

love the feeling of the rain trickling down my face .

Saw the hot guy . Kevin ? (correct me if I’m wrong) .

can’t believe he’s younger D: he looks like he’s in year 11 I SWEAR . H-O-T ! >8)

Must get hit on by all the ladiessss . i would SOOOO hit on him but that's just ever so slightly pedo ^^"

NTS: buy batteries for pedometer . . and maybe a screwdriver to open it up

She won’t let me go to area cause its in Gosford .

WHAT THE FREAK ?!

Stupid excuse much

its not like anyone WANTS to rape me ANYWAY and definitely NOT in peak hour .

stupid excuses much .

I’ll do it MYSELF .

You’re not stopping me .

I’m not three anymore

27/5/11

Sorry guys , for acting the way I did in the library on the morning

Didn’t want you guys to see me loose control .

Had a break down when I got home .

2 down 8 to go .

29/5/11

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind

For me it happens all the time

I need you now

I’m addicted to easy mac 8))) omnomnomnomnm

PE and English tomorrow .

Can’t study . iono why . I’m going to epic fail

oH dear .

Watched some of Misfits with my sis .

The BEST show everrr xDDD HAHAHA

Keep talking in an English accent now .

Can’t wait till exams are over :)

A;ALIE;AJDFALKSDFN.A N

30/5/11

Everything I held dear , I count it all as lost

Lead me the cross where your love poured out

Bring me to my knees lord I lay me down

Rid me of myself

I belong to you

lead me to the cross

WOOT WOOT .

4 DOWN 4 TO DOWN !! CHEYEAAAAAHHH !

GRRRRRRRR to lang for practically ANNOUNCING to the whole class my fail mark >.>

NOT cool .

Rain + LOTS of coffee + exams = PEEING LIKE CRAZYYYYYYY .

Chitchatting with mluk after school :)

First time in a long whilee .

I swear we never get to chit chat much anymore :( . . I miss that

And YOU’RE GOING TO BE THE FIRST TO GET MARRIED OUT OF US PEEPS !!! I’m psychic remember ;DD

we get one step closer but we're still so far away

A-nog-string not at school D:

GET BETTER SOON HUN !

Talk to you tomorrow

Only when you finally get to read this you’ll already be better .

NTS: give angel $$ to give to dannyboy :)

And honestly ,

Right now I’m stressing my ass off for exams .

Yeah I know noris is all like “year 10 doesn’t matter . . . “ but frikken asisn parents are pressuring real bad . . >.<

Sigh

Literally praying to dear god . . . ALDKJFL;ASDJF;LAKSDJFL;AKSJDFLKASJDL;FKAJD;LFKJASDL;FKJAS; DKDSJAFLKJSAS;DLIFJAS;LDKFJA;LSKDJ ;LXKCVLKSDJF;LAKDJF;LAKSJDF;LKAJSDLFK JASDLFKHAS.DJ FN.SJDFN.ASKJDHFAKJSDHFKJA

OKAY

Breathe in . breathe out .

I’m calm .

What I learnt today . . . (well it was kinda from my chitchat with mluk and my random thoughts HAHA)

The people who get criticized and talked about the strongest of them all . No matter how many haters they have , how many people talk trash to them , how badly their talked about , they still hold their head high and laugh it off . strength even when it kills on the inside .

I look up to them .

No matter what “bad” things they’ve done in the past , who are we to judge them ?

That makes us even worse .

There’s a reason for everything .

We just don’t know what it is .

Continually from a few days ago . .

After I lot of yelling on my behalf ( I’m such a bad child , oh dearie . . . )

I persuaded her to let me go

I think she’s starting to understand how much it means to me .

Yeah A , I forgot to say , thank you for your text that time . It really kept me going .

I love you babee <3

Dad’s driving . fingers crossed he doesn’t double cross me and get a job or something .

Guess who just came onto my itunes . . .

Lady Gaga !

Oh JESS AND ELAINE .

BANG BANG

WE’RE BEAUTIFUL AND DIRTY RICH .

Oh such awesome memories xD

Mmmm study . MLKj died in 1968 April 4^th speaking on a balcony . age . 39 .

Shot by white man . blacks rights movement . NAACP – National Association for the Advancement for Coloured People . blahblahblah

Okay I give up .

Fail with dignity :)

31/5/11

I believe that love is the reason

To give and get back in return

I want to breathe in a new beginning

6 down 2 to go !!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY 8)

Going to study now . TA TAAA .

OMG . DON JOHN AND CONRADE ARE GAY TOGETHER . O.O

Take my heart

As you're leaving

I don't need it anymore